the details, the care and the caution

I am loathe to use small careful strokes. Am I capable of that kind of painting? I may never know. I drip on the floor, sometimes on the painting, as I reach with the paint laden brush towards the spot it must go... without care.... is there something wrong with me? I have such a heavy hand... i look at some of my work and see the sloppiness, but am unwilling to try a more careful application. Instead I compose images that allow for more sloppiness, ones that will accommodate a heavy stroke and a drip here and there. I will not show a work if it's ugly to me in the end... so I guess it works for now... but it does bother me, this.